Life in General
In my mind this post is potentially long, we will see what happens in reality:) I am going to rant and rave a bit, and show some fun photos. I try to keep the blog a happy place, but some things just need to be written.
I think I will start with the ranting and end on happier thoughts.
Another reason I hate word press, is the endless amount of spam comments, I get about 60-100 a day. I have also accidentally marked real comments as spam as they were in the middle of the million spam comments with no way to get them back. SO annoying.
I sent out a custom order today, and did not photograph it before I mailed it . UGGG You will have to use your imagination. My client ordered two vintage quilt wreaths for her double front doors, and she requested red bows. They turned out really cute. You can click here to see the vintage quilt wreaths I have in the shoppe.
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This is the part that may get long. About two weeks ago Gabby came home with a opt out permission slip for a survey they would be taking in Health class. The permission slip said there may be questions about sex, drug and alcohol use. So, we decided she did not need to be exposed to these types of questions and opted out. We have talked about sex and answered her questions, she is aware there are drugs out there and she is aware of alcohol as we partake.
Last Friday night she informed me that her teacher forced her to take the survey. WHATTTTT?? She said the teacher told her she turned in the permission slip to late. As far as I am concerned up to30 seconds before is not too late. She also raised her hand and said her parents did not want her to take it and the teacher stuck her hand out and basically said too bad.
To say the least, Chad and I are furious. On Monday Chad wrote a letter to the superintendent of schools MO GREEN. I am going to go off on a tanget for a moment. Mo Green is new as the superintendent this year, and he started a campaign “Mo wants to Know”. He asked to community to email and ask questions or state problems and he would address them. The beginning of October I wrote him an email because I found out that he thought he would cancel all holidays in the schools. The kids only get a spring and a winter party. NO HALLOWEEN, Christmas, VALENTINES day, St. Patricks you get the point. I am so upset, who doesn’t remember making/buying valentine cards and passing them out to your classmates. I guess I understand not celebrating Christmas since we have to be politically correct. The point being he never wrote me back and Chad never heard back from him.
Chad then wrote the principal of Gabs school an email. He has been emailing back and forth for most of the week. The principal talked to Gabby and the teacher. The principal has apologized numerous times, but this does not change the fact that our daughter was exposed to unnecessary information and the fact that we her parents we treated as if the teacher has more say then we the parents do. Chad got a copy of the survey sent home with Gabby.
Here are some of the questions my 11year old and other 6th graders were exposed to.
Have you ever seriously thought about killing yourself?
Have you ever made a plan about how you would kill yourself?
Have you ever tried to kill yourself?
Have you ever tried cigarette smoking, even one or two puffs?
Have you ever had a drink of alcohol?
Have you ever used marijuana?
How old were you when you tried marijuana for the first time?
Have you ever used any form of cocaine, including powder, crack, freebase? OMG-
Have you ever sniffed glue, or breathed the contents of spray cans, or inhaled any paints? Introducing a behavior she new nothing about.
Have you ever had sexual intercourse?
How old were you when you had sexual intercourse for the first time?
With how many people have you ever had sexual intercourse with? ( Making it seem ok to have multiple partners.)
Have you ever vomited or taken laxatives to lose weight or keep from gaining weight? ( Once again introducing behaviors she knows nothing about)
Here is one of the responses Chad received, Bureaucracy at its finest:
Mr. Smith,
Regarding the question about the Youth Risk Behavior Survey:
The Youth Risk Behavior Survey was developed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and is administered approximately every two years by the State Department of Public Instruction in school districts across the state of North Carolina. This survey is also used in other states across the United States. The Youth Risk Behavior Survey was administered to all the middle and high schools in 2003. The School Health Advisory Council recommended to the Superintendent and Board of Education that the survey be administered again locally to all middle and high schools. The Moses Cone-Wesley Long Community Health Foundation provided funding for the survey via the Guilford Education Alliance which is overseeing the project. The data that is obtained from the administration of the survey is used by various community agencies/organizations and school system staff when developing and updating programs. Thanks.
There is so much more to be said on this topic, but this post is way too long all ready! Chad is thinking about writing an editorial to the local paper. This incident will be notated in the teachers file. BIG DEAL!
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On to other happier topics.
Autumn is done here, there are only a few leaves left on the trees. We have officially moved on to winter with temps in the 20’s-30′W. we woke up this morning to snow. Not a lot, but enough to delay the start of school for two hours. I took a photo of the front yard before it all melted.
May not be too exciting to a lot of people who have lived or live where it snows. But for me the CA girl it is neeto. The girls were outside in it this am,they are hoping for a real snow so they can sled down our hill.
I made this quilt. It turned out fine, not exactly how I wanted. Last year I saw a quilt just like this but cuter on Sarah’s blog, I loved it and knew I needed to make one. I love the colors she used. I used what I had laying around.
I just added some vintage flinch cards to the shoppe. They are a bit different than the ones that are all ready there. You can find them in the emphemera category.
Another new item in the shoppe, vintage bingo cards- 10 pack. Check the ephemera category.
Off to knit and relax.
This survey is terrible, and the explanation is just as bad.
I can understand your anger, I have a 12 year boy and no way
will he take a survey like that.
I have admired your blog for a while now, but never commented,
but this really upset me too. Your family seems to be such
a fine and decent family. I am sorry gabby had to go thru that. Anyway, I love your creativity, everything you make is beautiful!!(sorry, I dont have a blog)
Comment by cella — November 22, 2008 @ 5:00 am
oh I’m so boiling! MO DOESN’T KNOW SQUAT! What a bunch of bureaucratic BS! I’d be SO LIVID! I’m pretty relaxed about this type of thing but the POINT IS 1) you opted out and 2) You have GOT to be kidding me…SIXTH graders were asked this? I guess I should take a deep breath…but Mr. MO…if you happen to be so full of yourself that you google your name and see this post…..GET OVER YOURSELF and listen to the parents!
Phew.
I’m done.
Comment by Robin~Thrifty Miss Priss — November 22, 2008 @ 5:01 am
There is no excuse for exposing her to that survey if you opted out. I would also be LIVID if I were you. Those questions would have been introducing many a topic to us at my school in 6th grade! The most I recall was hearing someone talking about some girl giving blow jobs and most of us had no idea what that actually entailed, only that it was worth giggles and whispers.
Comment by Carla — November 22, 2008 @ 5:59 am
love your owl quilt! and i had to order some flash cards!! thanks-happy pink saturday!
Comment by suesue — November 22, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
Hi Jen,
I would be livid as well. I have dealt with similar problems here at my son’s middle school. The principal, Anthony Jenkins at Bleckley County Middle School, here in Cochran, GA, fell just short of pointing his finger in my face, and opted to instead slam his pointed finger repeatedly on his desk in front of me, as he told me “You’re not gonna come in here and tell me how to do my job!” Then he said “I can have Dylan removed from this school!” … and all of this was because he repeatedly did “nothing” about my requests to deal with a bad child that was bullying and threatening my son. I called the state board of education with my concerns and was informed that it is completely within my rights to send my son to school with a tape recorder in his pocket, as their should be nothing going on in my sons classes that I should’nt know about.One day in class with a tape recorder was enough to get their attention. The assistant principal even tried to grab the tape recorder out of my hand when I played it for them.
The superintendent of schools apoligized for the unprofessional conduct of the principal. And the principal steers clear of me now. Which suits me just fine. Too many local principals think they have a liscense to do what ever they want when it comes to our children. And too many parents just accept what ever crap they are told.
I would advise you to get proof, as in taking a recorder when you meet with Mo Green. If you dont get a proper response, you should definitely write an editorial, and call the local television news team as well. The board of education should be made aware that other parents feel the same as you do and the school doesnt want bad publicity, now do they? Dont take it lying down. I personally dont care who I P— Off when it comes to my children and what they are exposed to. Don’t tolerate this, and you wont have a next time.
Comment by Teresa Porter — November 22, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
OMGOSH!!!!!!! I am flipping out here with you! THAT is what they call a survey? How on earth can that be healthy for ANY child? That would only put MORE questions into their head! I would make a huge fuss too! How old is your child and did all your children have to take this? I would like to know so I can be prepared should my daughter and step-son have to be exposed to this nonsense! Next thing you know they’ll be having condom demos in class for P.E. What on earth happened to the good ole days when we were younger and did our cut and paste activities or paper mache projects? I am sooooo never letting my daughter date at this point LOL!
Happy Pink Saturday. Question…did you sign up for it this week? I was sent an email after I asked to just be left on the list weekly, that everyone signs up weekly and half the blogs I have visited on the list are not even participating. Now I am left OFF the list today…seriously, it’s not a huge deal I just feel there is some dishonesty going on there and it ruins my wanting to participate….email me if you can…or blog comment is fine
Comment by Fleur de Bee — November 22, 2008 @ 4:37 pm
I swear the scool system is just going to hell in a hand basket. We have been through so much in the past year, that nothing surprises me anymore. That is until I read these survey questions. What the hell????? I wouldn’t feel comfortable answering those and I practically an old lady! When I was in 8th grade we had to disect a frog - my Mom called the Principal and the teacher and worte a letter saying that I would not be doing it. Well, the day came and I was pretty quiet and didn’t say anything when the teacher handed me a frog. My best friend told the teacher that I my Mom had called about me not doing it. “Well, her Mommy isn’t here now, is she?” he said. So, my firend did all the work and I never looked at it. I still hate that teacher. Good for you for sticking up for your daughter.
Comment by Shara — November 22, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Jen,
I totally sympathize with your concern, deep hurt, frustration and anger. I would take it to the media. That response from the school is not acceptable. If they bother to send home the permission slip, they should honor the system. Absolutely, no buts. I believe a parent absolutely should have a choice about what things his or her child is exposed to and really the content of that survey…what is necessary about the information they are receiving from that survey. The fact that they even need to administer it is evidence to the fact that they need to do something about these problems. I don’t deny that these problems are out there, but I don’t know why they have to administer a survey to all of the kids unless they are just fishing for information. What is the best they will receive, percentages? They don’t need your child for that. And I agree that it exposes them (my daughter is in 6th grade as well) to things that they have never even thought about. What is necessary in that? I am so sorry you are going through this!
However, as an offer of comfort, I am sure, based on the concern that I see from you, that your daughter has been raised well. She lives in a very loving and nurturing environment with parents that are aware and involved. She will handle it just fine. She is not the one you need to worry about. The fact that she has been made aware of these things need not be a bad thing; you can certainly talk about them with her and ultimately it will make your relationship with her stronger, let her know exactly how you feel about these things and give her a stable foundation (not that she didn’t already have a stable foundation, but it will make her stronger). You are doing all of the right things. It will be okay. I am sure you know this, but I think I’d want to hear it as a parent if I were in your position.
Good luck on working with the administration! I hope that you find some resolve that gives you some peace and which prevents this scenario from happening in the future.
Hang in there, and on a slightly more trivial note (LOL — slightly?) Happy Pink Saturday!
Comment by Erin — November 22, 2008 @ 4:43 pm
Wow, so much to respond to. I find it so disheartening that the School Superintendent doesn’t follow through on his promise to be responsive to the community. We don’t always get the responses we’d prefer, but failing to respond at all is just a breach of his promise. Disappointing, and for someone who has a true problem with the school, like in your case, infuriating. It certainly gives the impression that he’s all talk and nothing else.
I am shocked about the fact that the teacher didn’t allow your daughter to opt out. It seems like a kind of power-play reaction, not a rules-based thing. Like she just felt like jerking someone around.
I agree with Erin’s comment above - your daughter has such a strong foundation from home that she will not suffer from having been exposed to information you’d prefer she not get - but of course you’ll be talking with her about the things she learned. It’s infuriating that your wishes weren’t respected.
Comment by g — November 22, 2008 @ 5:33 pm
Happy Pink Saturday! ENJOY your day! Fifi
Comment by Fifi Flowers — November 22, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
Oh my gosh! That makes me so mad because if the kids weren’t thinking about tose things, now they ARE! No wonder we have so many kids with anxiety nowdays… they hear about this stuff and it worries them! I think that most parents are like us and don’t want to unnecessarily expose their children to these kind if things, and if they are, we talk to them ourself!
Comment by Missy Hollenbeck — November 22, 2008 @ 9:09 pm
The survey is ridiculous for 11 year olds. It seems to me ideas are being presented to these children who would never have known such things existed before reading this. I raised two kids and I am a grandmother to two little girls. I would be furious if my babies were presented with this. I would provide a copy to your local news trouble shooter. Go for it, mom, you have a right to protect your children. My husabnd taught in public schools for 40 years until he retured in June. The vast majority or teachers are well qualified and care about their students. Naturally there are always those in ever profession who give a bad reputation to all.
Kathy
Comment by Kathy — November 22, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
Wow! Add me to the list of those who are apalled — not only about the response to your concerns, but with this survey in general. As the parent of a sixth grader, I agree that these questions are not something they need to be exposed to. Heck, I’d be P.O.’d if my ninth grader was administered this survey! But the most infuriating aspect of the whole scenario was the fact that they asked for permission (which to me means that they must have been REQUIRED to have parental permission), but then went and administered the questionaire to students for whom they had been told they could not.
If you ask me, this infraction should be brought into the spotlight…
Comment by Michelle K — November 23, 2008 @ 1:40 am
This is downright SO WRONG…I am so glad my children are adults. Cheer up and thin PINK
Comment by Ellen — November 23, 2008 @ 7:00 am
I would be livid. How can the teacher prove that it was turned in “too late”? I’d compose an email and send it out to a bunch of media conservatives like Laura Ingraham, Michael Savage, and Sean Hannity. Even Bill O’Reilly. Couldn’t hurt, and you never know, it might get some national attention.
Comment by Joy — November 23, 2008 @ 1:27 pm
I am not sure what I would do about the survey..but I would be so angry I would have to do more, and yes I would write to the newspaper and probably call the local news station. If the teacher did one child like this..what else is the teacher doing? She needs to go !!!
I love your blog, your beautiful quilt and you vintage things. I will be back to look more. :). Have a lovely day and a happy Thanksgiving.
Comment by CC — November 23, 2008 @ 6:36 pm
Wow, Jen!!! I would take it to the media.
Comment by Carrie — November 23, 2008 @ 7:26 pm
I may or may not have allowed my son’s to take this survery - I really don’t know at this point how I would feel because they are not old enough yet. We are extremely honest with my boys about sex, drugs and suicide because unfortunately it is out there for all kids to see, whether on T.V., movies, at school, on billboards, etc.
The issue is that your daughter’s teacher violated your trust and the school is standing behind the teacher. That is wrong. I think that letting the media know is a wonderful idea, but I personally would go farther than that. I would contact my local news channels, my local state representatives, state senators, etc. to let them know the injustice that your daughter and you have incurred as the result of a very insensitive teacher. (More like stupid!) There is a reason why permission slips are required for this questionaire and I suspect there may be legality issues as well that you may want to explore.
Another issue is that your trust has been broken with your daughter’s teacher. If my son’s teachers purposely went over my head and I felt like I could not trust her, I would insist that my son be removed from that class. And the biggest issue of course may be that your daughter can no longer trust her teacher - and that can be a very scary thing to a child. It is very important for children to know they are in a safe place at school and I am curious how your daughter feels towards her teacher at this point.
I hope you do get this worked out - and know you have so many people on your side! - Sarah
Comment by Sarah — November 24, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
Hi Jen ~ OMG, there would be no way my kids would take that survey either. Those questions are crazy…I can’t believe anyone would even think of asking kids things like that. I am so sorry your daughter has to deal with a teacher like that. Something needs to be done and I hope you and your husband can get this resolved quick!
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Hugz,
Michele
Comment by Michele — November 25, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
Jen,
I read this when you blogged about it but decided to write my thoughs on this now. Im not sure what religion you are or what you think on Prop 8. But I would say in the last 5 years schools and the attitude of the principles are “if they are in my school, they are my property”! Now with this gay rights stuff…they have been doing lots of things to put it in the schools without the permission of the parents. Like taking 2nd graders to attend a lesbian wedding and then reading books on how its ok to marry a person of the same sex. Im not sure where you stand on that. But to me just the attitude of the world is changing about everything and this effects our kids. The schools are very much disregarding what we think is best and doing what they think is best . Im really thinking about putting my kids in a private school or figure something out because if I have no say once I drop them off….then they will get all kinds of garbage inputed into them!
I know you must be reallllllllly mad. I would be super mad too. I just want to encourage you to not just let it go! You need to call the local news or newspaper. Let people know. Its not going to do anything if this goes into this guys file…trust me! Im sure the principle thinks your wrong and just said sorry cause he had too!!!
Im praying for you to have good and wise words to everyone you speak with and to get something done abou this matteR!
Comment by priscila — November 25, 2008 @ 4:20 pm